


The Blame Game

by eveningsoother (WhichWolfWins)



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Episode: s01e01 A Study in Pink, Episode: s03e03 His Last Vow, F/M, M/M, Meta, Mutually Unrequited, SherlockFrame, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 03:31:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1251151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhichWolfWins/pseuds/eveningsoother
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An analysis of John and Sherlock's relationship, the love confession in His Last Vow, and how all signs point to unrequited love on both sides.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blame Game

For [mid0nz’s meta project](http://mid0nz.tumblr.com/post/77174883122/im-starting-a-new-meta-series-called-each-frame-tells), I’m going to go with this picture and I’m going Johnlock with it; surprise, suprise.

There is so much going on in this scene, it’s fantastic. This scene was basically the love confession a lot of us were hoping for sneaking out right under our noses.

This is the conversation right before John makes this expression.

> "You," John says to Mary, breathing through his nose in agitiation. "What have I ever done, hmm, my whole life to deserve you?"
> 
> "Everything." Sherlock chimes in from the doorway.
> 
> "Sherlock," John says, his voice going quiet as he tries to control his anger, but he’s turning around to face Sherlock, pacing toward him. "I’ve told you to shut up."
> 
> "No, I mean it, seriously. Everything. Everything you’ve ever done is what you did."
> 
> "Sherlock, one more word you will not need morphine."
> 
> "You were a doctor who went to war, a man who couldn’t stay in the suburbs for more than a month without storming a crack den and beating up a junky. Your best friend is a sociopath who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high. That’s me, by the way, hello," Sherlock waves. "Even the landlady used to run a drug cartel."
> 
> Mrs. Hudson chimes in with a reply and Sherlock only gets more determined to get his point across. “John,” he continues, louder now. “You are addicted to a certain lifestyle. You’re abnormally attracted to dangerous situations and people. So is it truly such a surprise that the woman you fall in love with conforms to the pattern?”
> 
> "But she wasn’t supposed to be like that," John whispers, voice quivering as he indicates Mary with his hand, but he’s still facing Sherlock. "Why is she like that?"
> 
> Sherlock’s looks away, preparing just the right words. These are the words he’s needed to say for sometime, since Mary took his place in John’s life. “Because you chose her,” he says softly, meeting John’s eyes resolutely.

There is no question, for those of us who ship Johnlock, that there is a whole different conversation happening in this moment. “Because you chose her,” Sherlock says, and we all can read the unspoken words in his eyes, “over me.”

The lighting in this frame is very somber. He’s surrounded by neutral colors, but his face is darkly shadowed. There’s this big empty space beside John that represents how alone he feels in this moment. He’s standing in the center of the room surrounded by three other people, but there is no one near him; he’s divorced himself from everything.

One thing I think that’s especially telling about this conversation is the fact that Sherlock says John is attracted to dangerous people when the truth is that the only dangerous person John’s shown any interest in was Anthea and Sherlock doesn’t even know about that. Irene was a very dangerous woman and I honestly can’t think of any proof we’ve been given that would suggest John was even the slightest bit interested in her. Even more telling is the fact that I have never, not once, seen anything of the John/Irene variety. We saw a quick glimpse of dangerous Sarah, but that’s only because she was protecting someone. The women John dates are boring, so why does Sherlock say this? Who could Sherlock possibly be talking about?

Well… there was that one time Sherlock thought John was interested in him. But that couldn’t possibly be what Sherlock’s suggesting, could it? :)

Here I’m going to cheat a little and put a short little gif that shows John’s face as Sherlock’s words settle in.

> John’s smile falls. “Why is everything,” he says, shoulders tense, “always my fault?” he shouts, then he kicks Sherlock’s chair in his anger and stands tensely in the same spot, fists clenched at his sides.

John and Sherlock are playing the blame game here. Sherlock says it’s John’s fault for choosing Mary and John asks why he’s always the one being blamed, like he would blame someone else for the whole situation. It was Sherlock’s chair he kicked; he’s saying it’s all Sherlock’s fault, not his. Once again, John and Sherlock’s conversation in Angelo’s in ‘A Study in Pink’ comes to mind.

> "You don’t have a girlfriend then?" John asks conversationally.
> 
> "Girlfriend? No, not really my area," Sherlock answers, looking out the window distractedly.
> 
> John looks away then quickly looks back. He trains his eyes on Sherlock as he processes this. “Oh right…” he blinks, looks away. “Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks, which catches Sherlock’s attention at last. He looks quickly at John.
> 
> "Which is fine, by the way," John explains.
> 
> "I know it’s fine," Sherlock says, firmly holding John’s gaze.
> 
> John gives him a tight-lipped smile. “So you’ve got a boyfriend then?”
> 
> "No."
> 
> "Right. Okay," John says, laughing off Sherlock’s curtness to show he’s not trying to be pushy. He licks his lips. "You’re unattached," John says, looking away. "Just like me."
> 
> John breathes in and leans back under Sherlock’s watchful gaze, looking noticeably awkward. “Fine,” he clears his throat and Sherlock angles himself to face the window. “Good.”
> 
> Sherlock’s eyes linger on John for a moment before he looks out the window, but he’s clearly distracted now. He glances over at John, glances away, turns toward John but keeps his eyes trained down as he prepares his words.
> 
> "John, um…" he starts, looking down at the table. "I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work and, while I’m flattered by your interest, I’m not really looking for anything-"
> 
> "No." John shakes his head, clears his throat. He trains his eyes on the table. "No, I’m not asking," he shakes his head, glancing up at Sherlock, "no, I’m just saying it’s all fine." He looks up at Sherlock and holds his gaze firmly.
> 
> Sherlock, who’s been watching John awkwardly explain his interest away, nods. “Good,” he says, looking back out the window. “Thank you.”
> 
> Without Sherlock’s eyes on him, John looks away from Sherlock with wide-eyes. 

Placing this conversation in the context of the conversation in 221B when John gets angry at being blamed for everything being his fault, it explains the conversation that really didn’t make too much sense a little better. If we’re looking at this from a shipper’s perspective, here’s how the conversation sounds in Sherlock’s (their) flat.

> "Because you chose her over me," Sherlock says.
> 
> John’s smile falls. His fault, he thinks wryly. They wouldn’t even be in this situation if Sherlock had just given him a chance in the first place! “Why is everything always my fault?”

What makes it even greater is that this conversation is soon followed by these very telling lines from John.

> John looks at Mary, giving her that very predatory smile of his. ”Okay,” he says, then he turns to look at Sherlock before looking back at Mary. ”Your way,” he says over his shoulder to Sherlock. He stares Mary down, then he turns to face Sherlock. “Always your way,” he says pointedly.

Or, put it this way:

> "Why is everything always my fault?" John shouts, then he turns on Sherlock. "Maybe if you had just said something, Sherlock! Maybe if you had told me that you loved me, too, I wouldn’t have had to settle. I didn’t want it this way; you did."

I work under the belief that Sherlock didn’t fully understand that he was in love with John until TSoT. He didn’t think he was capable of love (“I will burn the heart out of you” “I’ve been reliably informed that I don’t have one”), so he said those things, because he honestly believed that nothing would ever happen. By the time that he realized he was in love with John, it was already too late; John was already married.

I also believe that John hadn’t admitted to himself that he might be interested in Sherlock until ‘A Scandal in Belgravia’ when Irene explained to him that he and Sherlock were a couple. After that, John stopped saying “I’m not gay” and instead said “we’re not a couple”. When Sherlock said that he didn’t have any friends in ‘Hounds’, though, it hammered home John’s initial belief that Sherlock didn’t feel for him the way John did for Sherlock.

When John believed Sherlock was dead, he went back to saying “I’m not gay”, which makes me think Sherlock’s the only guy he’s ever been interested in. With Sherlock out of the picture, John believes there’s no more chance of him being gay.

John and Sherlock have never been on the same page emotion-wise until this moment. Though they might have been feeling the same things for each other, they didn’t have the same understanding of it. This is why I don’t care that there was no confession of love during the runway scene; it’s because the conversation already happened.

This is them finally telling each other where they stand. Sherlock is saying that he loves John, but John chose Mary and John is saying that he loves Sherlock, but now he has to stay with Mary, because he has no other choice. Mary is pregnant with his child, after all.

This picture is John realizing all of this at last. He loves his best friend and now he’s found out that his best friend loves him, too, but there is nothing either of them can do about it. In ‘The Sign of Three’, we got to see Sherlock realize it was too late. In ‘The Last Vow’, we got to see John do the same.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here's](http://whichwolfwins.tumblr.com/post/77249307100/the-blame-game) where you can reblog this and/or follow me on tumblr.
> 
> What do you think?


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